I'm regularly asked "how do you do it?" I regularly respond "I don't." It's true - I never even make a dent in the to-do list of life. So, what do I do? I do everything that other parents do. (Side note - I'm giggling at the number of times "do" appears in those few sentences. do-do hee-hee :) Seriously, can you say "do-do" without wanting to smile/giggle?) I cook and do laundry and clean every once in awhile. My mom helps with dishes and laundry on the day she watches Daniel. I feed the dog. I go to work and manage to get both of us out the door relatively on time, appropriately clothed and with lunches. I read books and play outside and give baths and wipe tears and change diapers. I tell him "no" to some things (playing in the dog's water bowl - a.g.a.i.n) and "yes" to some things (reading the same book 100 times in one day) I give hugs and kisses and tickle his tummy. I hand my crying toddler over to his daycare providers and try not to cry as I walk out the door.
Want to know what I don't do? I don't try to get everything done. I don't make a "to-do" list because it's too long and overwhelming to see it all written down. I don't get dishes done every night. I don't get the toys and books picked up every day. I don't to do this alone - I have a community of family and friends who are willing to help.
Want to know what I'm trying not to do? I'm trying not to let loneliness and depression steal the moments of joy I have with my son. I'm trying to stop comparing my life to the lives of the people around me. I'm trying not to get overwhelmed but it happens on most days. I'm trying not to mess up too bad as a parent.
And that's enough. I love my life. It's hard and I often love it through tears, but I love it. Life isn't supposed to be perfect - it's supposed to be messy. And my messy is beautiful.
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