Why are we so mean to one another? Who cares if some moms like to throw "Pinterest worthy" parties? Who cares if some moms like to throw super simple parties? Does it matter if some moms get makeup on every day and some don't?
Where does the "mom shaming" come from? What makes us do this? Why are we so quick to judge one another for things that, ultimately, don't matter?
Sadly, I have been guilty of this and am trying to stop. I can tell you that my criticism of fellow moms comes from insecurity and fear of failure. Know what? We're all scared shitless that we're going to mess up these little people who have been entrusted to us. Do you want to throw a birthday party for your kid filled with lots of decorations and activities? That's awesome!! I can't do it. Well, I probably could, I just don't want to. And that's awesome too!
After having an epic meltdown because I overwhelmed by a bunch of little things, my little guy spent the night with his grandparents and I was able to get a really good night's sleep. We met for dinner the next evening so I could pick him up and, as we were leaving, I saw another mom of a toddler with "the look." In case you're not familiar with "the look," it's an expression of exhaustion mingled with defeat. I'm pretty sure "the look" is on my face quite a bit. I said a little prayer for this mom and started to walk by her table. And then I stopped. I looked at her and told her that I saw "the look" on her face and that I feel the same way a lot. I also told her that she's doing a great job. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes and whispered "thank you." I've been thinking about this encounter for the past week.
What would happen if moms united? What would happen if we stopped criticizing our differences and embraced the fact that we're all clawing our way through this messy journey called life? What if we looked a stranger in the eye and said "you're doing a great job?"
(Even as I type this, I'm wrestling over how to handle my awareness that some children are neglected and/or unwanted. I don't think we should enable behaviors that result in neglect or abuse of children.)
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